Obituary of Dave Martins
“ Todas estradas lá vão ter”
“All roads meet in the end”
- Martins Family’s oft-quoted Portuguese saying
David Joseph Rocha Martins, loving husband, and father, passed away on September 5, 2019 at the age of 48.
Taken from us all far too soon, David is survived by parents, Joe and Alice Martins, sister, Maria Chesser, and her husband Marty, nieces Taryn and Emma, and nephew Hayden. Dave was proud of his family, wife Laura, and sons Lucas and Gavin.
Dave held a special place in each of our hearts; father, husband, son, brother, uncle, cousin, godfather, coach, mentor and friend. Dave was my best friend, he was my husband, and a wonderful father to our children. Looking back at Dave’s life and the stories he shared with me, I am reminded of his enduring determination. Dave showed such conviction throughout his illness, right up to the end. Dave led us all to this very day, where we celebrate his light, that shines on still in each one of us.
The story of David’s life has many chapters but most notably, his life is bookended by the same story of strength and courage in the face of adversity. David faced cancer early on in his life, beating Leukemia before even starting Kindergarten. Throughout his life, David touched many people countless ways and my family and I look forward to hearing some of those stories today as we celebrate his life.
A life-long resident of Quesnel, David was active in his community and proud of his Portuguese culture. Dave was never more proud of his community than in the last year and half. The community of Quesnel never let him feel alone, surrounding his family with love and kindness - He was truly blown away by every thoughtful gesture and word of encouragement. The outpouring of love was a true testament to ‘what you put out into the world, is what comes back to you’.
It’s hard to capture a person in just a few paragraphs - but as I reflect back on Dave’s life, I find that sports and coaching were an area that defined his character. Dave took to all aspects of being an avid sports enthusiast. He cared deeply about being a team player, of listening and engaging, and of passing on his knowledge as mentor and coach. David played the position of goalie from an early age and was so proud of coaching kids in the sport he loved. When Dave became a father, he was eager to watch, play and coach his sons hockey and soccer teams. Dave loved watching his son Gavin grow to love hockey just as he did. Seeing his excited little boy light up in the dressing room truly filled his heart with joy. He had the chance to strap on the ol’pads when Gavin experimented with minding the net - just like dad. Full disclosure, both of us took a big sigh of relief when he naturally gravitated to play up. Dave had the opportunity to see his boys reach some pretty great milestones in their young lives. Except, when they decided to start walking! No, they had to wait until Dave and I were on a plane to a tropical Island, adult only, vacation. Our little stinkers decided to do that one together, once we left!
Many of you remember David in his youth as ‘Hulio’, a moniker that lives on to this day. He loved nothing more than to cruise in his beloved Mustang, a graduation present that he would build up to racing caliber. Just please don’t touch the paint job! David loved the simple pleasures of life, the peacefulness and stillness of fishing in his boat, reading his mystery novels, and being in the kitchen, cooking delicious dishes for his family.
Post secondary education took David to Kamloops and Prince George, where he proudly worked as a Laboratory Technician. But Dave would ultimately find himself back in his hometown of Quesnel, where he worked in the Forestry industry and at Cariboo Pulp and Paper for over 20 years. Always community minded, David took great pride in his involvement at Cariboo Pulp, even serving on the Health and Safety committee. Dave took his position seriously. And when I say Dave took his role seriously, I mean it. Dave once took an axe to a door at Cariboo Pulp to assist a janitor locked out of her supply closet. 'Super Dave’ to the rescue!
While eulogies often focus on how a person lived, For me, I have drawn strength by how he died. In November 2018, our lives were forever changed, when David was diagnosed with Glioblastoma Multiform - a terminal cancer that would give him 21 months to make a lifetime of memories with his family. David faced his fate head-on, living in the moment, with amazing courage and strength, grace and humility. He guided us all on how to celebrate the life and time he had left, and allowed us all to grieve with him and honor his life, while he was still here with us. Those 21 months were a gift; so many chapters concluded, so much closure, and always in the spirit of love and togetherness. Because that is what is ultimately important, not the stuff or the things we accumulate. Dave’s happy place was with his family and together, we carried on, making the most amazing memories together. We were able to be together through many milestones, big and small, from Gavin’s hockey tournaments, staying in a theme room at West Edmonton Mall, our 10-year wedding anniversary getaway back to where we married in Tofino, and we also welcomed a new puppy into the family. Our trip to Haida Gwaii was beyond inspiring, living up to every one of our expectations. Last December, Dave fulfilled a lifelong dream to attend a couple World Junior Hockey games in Vancouver. A trip that brought out a level of joy and wonderment in Dave that I have never before seen. The trip was without a doubt, the most out of this world and over the top special moments for Dave. As a father, Dave was delighted to endure the highs and lows of raising our boys from newborns to the delightful children they are now… Most of the time!
David’s gift to us all, was to embody what it meant to be courageous, to cast a light onto the importance and value of community and friends, and how to live knowing, we are not guaranteed a tomorrow.
We will love you forever in our hearts, you are in all of us here today.
—- Saudades —-
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Good Afternoon Everyone,
For those of you who don’t know me, I am Taryn Chesser, David’s niece and Goddaughter. I will be speaking on behalf of the Martins and Chesser family. We would like to start off by thanking everyone for coming from near and far to honour David today. Truly means the world to us.
To be quite honest with you all, I had no intentions of speaking today. Firstly, because I’m not the greatest public speaker at the best of times and I really didn’t think I could hold myself together. Secondly, because I am so afraid not to do David justice. How do you wrap up someone’s life time in a few sentences on a piece of paper?
I figured the easiest thing to start with was when my dad first met my mom (Maria) in 1982… as cliché as it sounds, he used to always say that when he met her, he knew that was the girl he was going to marry. What he didn’t know was he would be getting a new little brother in the deal. The reason I say little brother is because of the non-traditional age gap between my mom and uncle David. I did want to disclose that age gap but that part of my speech was cut out by someone who didn’t want her age to be calculated ** cough cough mom **. But David was only 11 yeas old.
When my parents were expecting their first child. My dad was going to call him Cleaveland. Basically, they were convinced they were having a boy and they were ready...they had David as their dry run, afterall. My mom had always read him bedtime stories and was always there to help with him with his projects. which quickly became her projects. My dad got to be the fun guy, wrestling in the living room after dinner, throwing the ball around in the backyard and coaching him in hockey with Wayne Brousseau. I’m sure he coached a lot of you out there too. Plot twist, they got me. Not a son and they quickly adapted or so I thought. When hearing stories and getting to know my Pedrinho/Uncle David. I soon realized we had a lot more in common than I thought. He was pulled from the ice during a game by my dad. I was pulled from the ice during a game by dad. He was smart, determined, driven with goals, I am smart determined, driven with goals. He was extremely attractive. Scary isn’t it.
Lots of memories I have of David come from stories I have heard or moments I have experienced. So sit back, relax and enjoy this 4 hr trip down memory lane ….
JUST KIDDING but when speaking with my family and hearing stories about David. I realized that there were a number of life Lessons that he has taught me and I want to share those with you today.
Many a time my dad was this big tough police officer but yet he always found himself on high alert at the Martins’ residence, not because he was dating a girl in a Portuguese household, but due to the fact that one of Davids favourite past times was “Scare Marty”. He never knew which corner or chair David would be hiding behind, waiting to pounce unexpectedly. David would laugh hysterically. When he saw how high my dad jumped and how loud he yelled… consistently. Lesson 1; Dave taught us that your actions matter, because for every action there’s an equal opposite reaction… and my dad scares easily
My mom has always shared stories of their childhood.
Numerous road trips to California– the sun burns, Disney land, more specifically the rides at Disneyland. David laughing, full of energy, anxious to try the highest, fastest, coolest rides. Accompanied by my Vovo Joe crying and yelling “ ahh Jesus, too high, get me down”.
They also had many family trips to Portugal- where one of the highlights was making sandcastles on the beach. The stories include how they spent hours, scouring the beach looking for every shell, feather or piece of trash that they could artistically work into castle decore… this sounded all too familiar. As my little sister Emma and I share very similar memories. Safe to say that although decades apart, David and Emma had the best sandcastle built buy 6 year olds in all of Europe. Lesson 2: David taught us to make every moment count, find beauty in the simple things and that having a big sister sometimes comes in handy
A little closer to home, I heard stories about David learning to ride horses and hanging with the “Elm St. gang” – Bula, the Johnsons, the Neiglans, Odiorns, and even Ken here. From what I heard, during these times, having a little brother REALLY came in handy… mostly because he was the easiest one to take shots at or was volun-told to do whatever the big kids said. Whether it was 500 up baseball, or stand in nets with no padding (no wonder he became a goalie), or even riding Old Sham – the horse nobody wanted to ride. He never once complained. He was always smiling and happy to be hanging with the big kids . I mean he might have wanted to complain but if you know my mom … he probably couldn’t get a word in edge wise… hence he was the quiet one. Lesson 3: David never complained through any kind of adversity. He taught us that there is more power in silence. As you are more defined by what comes out of your mouth than what goes in it.
Growing up, my mom and dad would share stories about their time as a couple in the Martins household. Eating, Playing Yahtzee, Eating, playing Sorry, Eating, Playing pool, more Eating Playing ping pong… till this day… my dad still jokes that the Martins family, and quite honestly the entire Portuguese community were trying to kill him with food. But he did say that if he played his cards right.. that on occasion the Martins children would put on a concert – Maria on the accordion and David on the trumpet. Lesson 4: David taught us that Martins are not musicians!
I love you mom and this is not meant to be your roast, but from what I’ve heard David, was the slightly more inclined sibling when it came to artistic/musical talent… and also possibly athletics. Not only was he a trumpet player in the school band, an exceptional goalie, soccer and baseball player but apparently, he was also a pretty good dancer. I gathered this based on a memory you shared with us that took place in your weeks leading up to the Miss Quesnel pageant. You had to come up with a talent for the pageant, and referring back to lesson 4, the accordion wouldn’t cut it. You told us that David spent hours on end with you rehearsing a dance that you could perform for your talent portion. Knowing how uncoordinated you are. He must have been a pretty excellent teacher, because you pulled it off and won. LESSON FIVE: David taught us that patience and persistence is a powerful tool for success.
For those of you who don’t know, my mom married and RCMP officer, shortly after they were married, they were transferred to Ottawa. As a young woman, a new wife, and a life-long Quesnel resident, she was embarking on a daunting adventure and was full of worry, as she was leaving behind all she had ever known and loved. Her worries were soon put to rest, because she knew that David was still here in Quesnel. He was the one that was always here. As parents, my Avos, Joe and Alice, always knew that their son was there. Just one call away and ready to help at the drop of a hat. Whether it was offering technological support, coordinating basement restorations after a flood (while they were in Portugal) or simply helping them finish Sunday dinner. He was there. Steady, reliable, respectful and kind. Even more, he was valued member of his community and put a lot of emphasis on community involvement. This comes as no surprise as it takes a village to raise a child. My grandparents couldn’t have picked a better one than Quesnel. LESSON SIX: David taught us that commitment, hard work and respect will always go a long way. Especially with your parents.
You can understand then how it was an easy choice for my parents to have David as a godfather of their first child. He was the cool, fun single uncle you know the one who nearly gave my grandparents a heart attack by racing that 1988 mustang parked out front or his bank as my Avo Alice used to call it. He was the uncle who spent hours looking through the SEARs wish book to pick the out the perfect Christmas gifts for my siblings and I. David having such a love for sports, made sure my brother Hayden…had every sports net and sports equipment known to man… basketball, hockey, soccer… Yet despite all of David’s best efforts Hayden still grew to be a rather mediocre athlete. Thanks for trying Uncle Dave. LESSON SEVEN: David taught us that sports is a crucial charterer developer and should be encouraged. He taught us to do your best, no matter your skill level…
Over the years, my parents watched David grow into a conscientious, hardworking, young man. Who ended up falling hard for this physiotherapy assistant. This wasn’t so surprising because it didn’t take long after meeting Laura, that she quickly won our hearts over too. We got to see them as a couple. David was happy, they were fun and loving and they both had great senses of humour and qualities that you would want in a life partner. Laura you made him a husband. Not only did he fall in love with you, but he also fell in love with the island and the Wood family. Sharon, Stu, Alison, Dezi and Camille, you accepted David and welcomed him into your family with open arms. We would hear about all of the annual reunions, adventures on the island and countless fishing trips. These were memories he cherished and for that we thank you.
David then became a father, he was so proud of his family. The stories he shared were endless. From Lucas learning to write his own name, to how he was able to turn even the grumpiest persons frown upside down with his gentle soul, big smile and squeezy hugs… his hugs.. he always knows when they were needed the most. & Gavin, his multisport athlete, David never missed a game soccer, hockey, you name it… and we always got the play by play in Ontario.. so technically… neither did we. He was so proud of the young man Gavin is becoming, honest, loving and an amazing big-little brother to Lucas. These boys are good, kind and considerate and a true testament to the core values instilled by their parents. LESSON EIGHT: David taught us that true happiness cannot be bought.
So back to my original question. how do you wrap up someone’s life time in a few sentences on a piece of paper. I figured the best way was to share a story not many of you know. It takes place at the end of November 2017 in a Vancouver hospital. This was where my family received David’s heartbreaking diagnosis with a cruel prognosis. As you can imagine, those first few days were really tough, heck it was a really tough 21 months, but in that initial moment, our optimism was deflated, and the unknown obstacles to come were really scary. There were lots of tears. But a single phrase said that day is what we remember. In a moment of self-reflection. David said “ I hope people know I’m a good person”... Isn’t that what we all want?
When this community rallied and had that amazing benefit. Unfortunately, my family and I were unable to attend. However, thanks to technology our cousin John - facetimed us in. David was speechless and overwhelmed with emotion. The shear emotion on his face and tears in his eyes had all of us crying in Ottawa. When he did manage to speak a few words, he could only say “ I guess I did alright.” You showed him the love, all the faces that are here today, and he felt it until the very end. Thank you for allowing him to feel that. FINAL LESSON: David taught us to give lovingly and freely to your family, friends and community. Be involved. Care and Love.
So how DO you wrap up someone’s life time in a few sentences on a piece of paper. I guess the fact that we can share stories that make us laugh and cry and the fact that the good memories TOTALLY outweigh the bad… then we know he did alright… you did more than alright Hulio/ Padrinho/ Uncle Dave.
We love you…Thank you,
One At Rest
Think of me as one at rest,
for me you should not weep
I have no pain no troubled thoughts
for I am just asleep
The living thinking me that was,
is now forever still
And life goes on without me now,
as time forever will.
If your heart is heavy now
because I've gone away
Dwell not long upon it friend
For none of us can stay
Those of you who liked me,
I sincerely thank you all
And those of you who loved me,
I thank you most of all.
And in my fleeting lifespan,
as time went rushing by
I found some time to hesitate,
to laugh, to love, to cry
Matters it now if time began
If time will ever cease?
I was here, I used it all,
and now I am at peace.
